#this reminds me of caleb widogast

[sadcatjae]

cw: mentions of torture, chains/restraints

imagine a whumper who's starved for company. they suffer from such crippling isolation, that after they torture whumpee, whumper just...sits there. in the cell. beside whumpee.

they sit there all through the night, arms wrapped around their knees as they stare into the dark, knuckles still aching from the countless blows they rained down upon whumpee. they savour the sound of whumpee's strained breaths - a constant, comforting reminder that they aren't alone.

they move closer to whumpee and lean into the limp, unconscious form chained to the wall, desperate for the feverish heat emanating from whumpee's battered body. heat. breaths. another heartbeat. another human.

a part of them wonders if they should stop hurting whumpee. maybe hold back on their punches. ingratiate themselves to whumpee by giving them more food. more water. a blanket, perhaps.

but outside of their work - whumper doesn't know anything about people. they don't know how to be liked. how to be normal. they don't know how to be kind or touch in a way that doesn't cause pain. and the dream of a real human connection is just that - a dream.

so they just sit there in the cell, in the dark, sitting beside whumpee and pretending that their dream isn't just a dream. at least for tonight.

[mllekurtz]

There's a man Essek meets on the train every morning.

🏙️ modern au shadowgast one-shot 🚆 they’re commuters and they fall in love! 🛣️ 7k of moody, romantic vibes with a helping of existential crisis

[utilitycaster]

my biggest impediment to enjoying romance fanfic is that I think I just fucking hate pet names. I don't find them sweet or romantic even when it's canon for ships I like, so when people put noncanon ones in it doesn't feel like a cute extrapolation, it feels like someone is secretly putting zucchini in my chocolate cake.

[ruvi-muffin]

HEY YOU

Yes you (caleb enjoyer)

You're welcome.

[alliekitaguchi]

caleb widogast you are SO season 1 will graham coded

[gobliiine]

On the one hand, Caleb clearly has access to teleport and can visit any of his friends anytime he wants

On the other, I’m currently on episode 108 of the campaign where he drunkenly asks beau and nott to come back with him when everything is over and after seeing Caleb go home alone in the reunion episode?????

It’s fine I’m fine I’m not crying about it

[anonymouszephyrus]

STOP BECAUSE THE EYES ARE STARING INTO KY FUCKINY SOUL

Essek my fish love

[sassy-cass-16]

look man. look

essek saying "bren" out loud, claiming a position on caleb's side as the mouthpiece of his regards to astrid, did something to me. i can't tell if it opened a wound or punched me or gave me a hug. all i know is that i am feeling so many emotions right now

more under the cut because i'm about to get rambly:

"bren aldric ermendrud" is a separate character from caleb widogast. he's a young boy learning how to make magic. he's a deeply traumatized and indoctrinated teenager. he's the boy who curled up with astrid and eadwulf in a freezing tower for warmth all night.

essek never met bren. he met caleb and he's never known him as anyone else. if i'm remembering correctly, caleb never even said the name "bren" to him during the campaign, and neither did any of the nein.

essek knows caleb widogast. he knows the man who held up the object of his worst crime and then kissed him in the bowels of a ship and made a floor of infinite stars for them to walk through together. he knows the person who healed over bren's wounds—thinly, but enough. he knows the man that the boy has become.

astrid knows bren. she barely knows who caleb is. she still calls him bren after hearing him referred to as caleb repeatedly. she can't know him as the man he is, she only knows the boy. there's some of bren in caleb, but there is no caleb in bren.

essek saying "bren sends his regards" is him gauging astrid's reaction, on one level—if she freaks out, which she did, she's in opposition to caleb's cause and thus a threat. on another level, it's essek delivering a very different subtextual message from caleb: "the boy who loved you is giving you one final warning."

because essek is a threat to astrid. their last meaningful interaction was slinging spells at each other in the blooming grove. and that's funny in a "current boyfriend vs ex girlfriend exclusively fight each other" kind of way, but it's also deeply tied to caleb's recurring theme of transformation. "bren sends his regards" also means "i have healed enough to love enough for someone else to know this name and use it with my consent. and this someone else is your enemy. what does that make you think i've become?"

it also does a fantastic job of communicating subtle offscreen discussions that have happened over the years since the end of c2. we don't have the details of when or how caleb told essek his birth name, but we know that he did, and we know from all of c2 that the name bren occupies a place of immense emotional weight for caleb. it functions similarly to a deadname in terms of who uses it and for what purpose. trent exclusively calls caleb bren to wound him and place himself in a position of power. astrid calls him bren to remind both him and herself of who they used to be—same with eadwulf, though obviously he's not here.

the first time we hear essek say "bren" is on caleb's behalf and confronting one of the narrative representations of caleb's trauma. it's four words that manage to communicate "i, your enemy on a hundred levels, can speak for both the man i love and the boy who loved you, because i know him in his entirety."

astrid knows bren and essek knows caleb, but only essek can speak for both. because at some point, caleb gave bren to essek. and we know this from four words. four IMPROVISED words.

god. this moment is just so fucking good

[rainbowcaleb]

a soft familiar sight

Caleb’s hair is long enough to braid.

It has been for a while, a pleasure Essek has enjoyed intimately. The silver twined with copper makes for a lovely contrast as the strand becomes a twist becomes a weave. Like magic pulled from leylines and coaxed into the exact precision of spells, Essek eases the hair from the catch of pillow and cheek, gently so as to not interrupt the quiet snores of his bedshare. 

Caleb sleeps more than Essek, which could be a lonely endeavor in the early faded light of the morning when trance is not needed anymore, but it is a privilege to watch the rise and fall of a chest at ease. Caleb is beside him and he is quiet, he is at rest. It is an honor to know Caleb is so unbothered, and so Essek busies his hands and stills his now-awake mind with his gentle work. He is up to number five in clever braids, beating his previous record by one. 

He is a metalsmith in another life; perhaps also in this one. Essek loops soft red around his finger, then the next. Rings upon rings that join the one Caleb has already given him. He is careful to twine a precious silver into the band, a reminder of time and of choice. There’s an indent in the pillow on the side Caleb always sleeps; two bedside tables both stacked with their own treasure of books. The extra blanket, crochet carefully mended to keep age away; a gift that keeps Essek’s feet warm and the cats lingering on the bed until breakfast. He slides the hair from his finger, the curl gently heat set from his own touch. Essek tucks it behind Caleb’s ear.

Caleb has a tell, the way his breathing lowers. The unshamed snore quieting, the micro lift of the sides of his mouth.

Essek keeps twirling hair into braids, but there’s a speed that comes with no longer needing to be subtle.

“Schatz, six? Is that a record?” He murmurs. 

Essek could kiss that cheeky grin and so he does. “Counting in your sleep again, Widogast?”

“Is it truly sleep if one’s partner is playing hairdresser?” Caleb’s eyes still lie closed, all orneriness twinkling in the corners of his lips.

Essek drops the long strands and combs his fingers through the crown instead. “Good morning. Do not pretend as if you do not like it.”

Caleb shivers into the scratch. “I have never said otherwise.” He peeks one eyelid open. “Guten Morgen. I hope you have not been waiting on me long.”

A familiar song accompaniment to a familiar dance. As if this is not the joy they have shared for the majority of mornings over the last few years. 

“I am always happy to watch over you.” Essek slides both hands to Caleb’s cheeks, running his thumbs across the cheekbones. “Sleep well?”

“This night, yes.” Never a guarantee; always a celebration when it occurs. Essek also knows this feeling well. 

“It is your turn.” Essek removes his hands and sits up. He trades warm skin for the worn leather and paper of the closest book. “I’ll be down in fifteen or so.”

“Ah.” Caleb laughs and sits up in bed. “Make it twenty, Jester has lent me a new recipe for black moss pancakes.”

Essek squints at the page before him, a slight wrinkle to his nose. “I am fairly certain Jester is the only one who can make those palatable; it's her magic touch.”

“Sometimes literally.” Caleb pats Essek’s knee before getting out of bed and shrugging on the knitted brown cardigan he picks up from the side chair. “Apple honey toast it is instead.”

“I look forward to it.” Essek lifts his eyes from the page to send a smile Caleb’s way, and is met with a mirror of soft familiar sight. It can be years or decades or more, but Essek is certain he’ll never tire of that bright Widogast smile.

[spottedenchants]

Chapter 3 of the first time fic is done! So here is a snippet for you :3

~

Caleb sighs as if it were a held breath.

“Could you, ah-.”

He drums his fingers on Essek’s lower back.

“Mhmm?”

Essek scratches behind Caleb’s ear.

Caleb leans into his hand, sitting up and meeting his eyes with brows furrowed.

“Could you do, ah some- something, um, anything, just.”

Oh, a distraction? He can do that.

“Anything, Caleb?”

Essek trails under Caleb’s jaw as he croons, sh-skritching through Caleb’s beard along the way to his chin.

Conversation can be distracting, yes?

He traces a single forefinger down Caleb’s chin, then strokes featherlight fingertips over the stone of his throat to reach its hollow- plenty enough to feel Caleb swallow.

Essek settles his hands to either side of Caleb’s collar.

“It’s unwise to make such a broad offer.”

Caleb’s shoulders ease under Essek’s palms. His expression melts into a prettiest smirk.

“Maybe I like to play the fool sometimes.”

“You….”

Essek smoothes a hand over Caleb’s collarbone as if in contemplation, letting only a shimmer of his amusement rest on his face.

“You are a curious one.”

Entirely dismissive, Caleb shrugs.

“I can only hope to make you so.”

‘Only hope’? Please.

Fingertips splayed to Caleb’s sternum, Essek pushes him into a backwards lean.

“I think you deserve a little more credit.”

Hand curled under chin, he tips Caleb’s head up.

“Look what you’ve done, brought me into your bed--”

“Allow me to remind,”-

Caleb snipes, sly.

“You brought yourself.”

“And who has granted me the invitation, time and again?”

Essek presses his thumb against Caleb’s mouth to stop the retort he sees forming. Silly man, what is any of this but Caleb’s own generous fault.

“Who has let me so close?”

He draws Caleb’s lower lip into a pout.

“Who, Caleb Widogast…”

A breath apart, their noses brush.

Caleb’s hand rests motionless against Essek’s spine, steady as a knife poised between the vertebrae.

Essek presses his lips to his thumbnail.

Relishing Caleb’s hitched inhale, Essek grins in full.

“Who has let me stay?”

[feuerwizard]

Though  the  object  does  not  appear  like  much—often  times  the  most  valuable  of  objects  don’t—Caleb  still  believes  it  worth  checking.  With  the  mutter  of  arcane  words  under  his  breath,  he  summons  a  spell  of  Detect  Magic,  it  creates  a  shimmering  aura  around  him  as  he  approaches  the  small  item  in  Paerin's  hand.  It’s  nothing,  he  learned  rather  quickly.  “Nein,  there  is  nothing  magical  about  it,  mein  freund.  A  paperweight…  but  it  could  be  an  expensive  paperweight?”

Caleb  still  raises  a  ginger  eyebrow,  expression  shifting  from  wariness  to  intrigue.  He  watches  Paerin  turn  the  paperweight  over  within  his  hand,  examining  it  with  renewed  interest  in  the  paladin’s  grip.  There's  a  glint  in  his  eye  as  he  considers  the  possibility,  a  spark  of  curiosity  that  often  led  him  down  dangerous  paths  before  but  also  to  profitable  treasure.  Or…  it  really  is  merely  a  useless  object.  “I  think…  this  is  our  cue  to  stop  before  I  begin  to  overanalyze  a  damned  paperweight.”

Rubbing  his  exhausted  eyes  with  a  sigh,  the  wizard  takes  a  step  backward  and  shakes  his  head  in  frustration.  “Do  you  have  everything  you  need?”

He’s  a  reckless  fighter,  to  be  certain,  but  — he’s  reckless  in  the  way  that  comes  from  both  a  confidence  in  his  own  skill  and  an  awareness  of  what  he  can  take,  not  in  the  way  of  risking  other’s  hides.  "  Battlefields’re  littered  with  the  bones  o’  the  bravest.  An’  then,  the  bards  write  songs  about  'em,  sing  their  tales  in  the  city  square  to  wide-eyed  kids,  an'  raise  the  next  generation  o'  brave  arseholes.  "  

It’s  with  a  sigh,  though,  weighted  and  heavy  —— tired,  in  many  ways.  Sometimes  he  thinks  he’s  been  in  the  fight  too  long,  lived  a  life  where  the  smooth  boiled  leather  grip  of  a  sword  is  more  familiar  than  aught  else  in  his  life;  he  gives  a  wry  smile,  faint  and  fleeting,  rueful  and  reflective.  "  I  know  it  because  I  was  one  of  those  wannabe  brave  arseholes,  once.  "  

He  picks  up  something  from  the  desk  — it  spins,  slowly,  and  at  least  looks  like  it  could  be  something;  he  scowls  at  it  and  the  slow  revolutions  of  the  multitude  of  rings  with  the  mild  fascinated  wary  trepidation  of  one  waiting  for  something  to  explode  in  his  palm.  "  This  somethin’?  This  looks  like  somethin’.  "

(  It’s  a  fancy  paperweight.  )

[mllekurtz]

📣shadowgast fic rec📣

My friend @fireryn (aka toneofjoy) just posted the first chapter of an amazing new climbing au!

If, like me, you have a special place in your heart for the og climbing au;

if you are a fan of hyperspecific aus where the author really knows what they're talking about;

if you want to read a story that's so cleverly and beautifully written, it feels like you're experiencing it;

if you like your Shadowgast to be a delicious slow burn with plenty of verbal sparring, humour, conflict and heart;

if you like some tender, supportive and sexy Blumendrei...

...then this story is for you!

[stardusted-bookworm]

Home

Warnings: None

Drawing familiar runes on the ground, Caleb bids adieu to the Nein before activating the teleportation circle. And goes home.

Home.

A hard-fought, hard-won place. Once foreign on his tongue, Caleb Widogast is slowly becoming accustomed to home. A place, and a person. A person he has not seen in a number of days, and after the fight he’d had… Let’s just say Caleb is more than eager to return home.

As the whoosh of arcana dies down, the Zemnian wizard is met with the comforting sight of his study in their Rexxentrum home. Paintings of various memories and dicks line the walls. Caleb clocks a new dick drawn on the corner of his desk. He makes a mental note to discuss appropriate dick drawing places with Jester later.

Then, his eyes catch on the painting hanging behind his desk. A portrait gifted to them for their third anniversary. The artist had captured a moment when he and his partner had been lounging on their couch, both looking off-paper. He is arching an eyebrow at something that was said, but his partner…

His partner is resplendent in the warm-toned light, resting on Caleb’s shoulder, head thrown back in laughter. The very epitome of joy. He looks softer, unwearied by an ever-hunting past.

It is Caleb’s favorite portrait of the two and had promptly hung it in his office when Jester had gifted it to them.

He studies the lines of his partner’s face, drinking in the details, memorizing his smile, as he had done so many times before.

Just then, he hears the shattering of ceramic and a loud “Scheiße!” from downstairs.

Caleb smiles and finally descends, joining his partner in their kitchen. 

Entering, he finds Essek Thelyss in all his glory, magicking the broken shards of a plate into the trash and furiously muttering under his breath. Caleb believes he hears something like “That’s what I get for wanting to do things by hand” mixed with Undercommon curses.

The sight is truly endearing. Domestic, one might even say.

Happy as he is to just stand and watch for hours, not a moment later, Essek absentmindedly glances in Caleb’s direction before locking eyes with him. A wide grin transforms the drow’s face into almost blinding beauty.

Widogast, you are smitten.

“Caleb!” Essek greets, folding him into an embrace. “You have returned! How was your trip? Were you able to reshackle Trent like you’d hoped?”

Too soon, his partner pulls out of his grasp and levitates the rest of the dishes to their corresponding places. Caleb is left bereft as the warmth quickly recedes.

“Ja, but—”

“Oh! That band of adventurers you sent me to, they reminded me much of the Nein. Well, in the sense that they are a motley bunch with… colorful personalities, shall we say?” Essek grins wryly at him before finishing his task.

“I see, that—”

“It was certainly an adventure with that group. We found Ludinus—Caleb, he used ancient Aeorian tech to show us the fall of Aeor. It was fascinating. I wonder how the enchantments were woven together to achieve that. I may want to work on that with you later.”

“Schatzi—”

“Then, we fought with one of the members’ patrons—she is a warlock, you see. Long story short, we were able to fight the patron off. After which, we teleported here where I led a long ritual to lock the patron into an Aeorian seal placed within the woman’s rib cage.” 

Here, Essek gets a haunted look on his face. “That… was mildly traumatic I won’t lie. Not the arcana of course, but there was much more blood and bones cracking than I would have preferred. But altogether, fascinating.”

“Essek—”

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Essek whirls around and clutches Caleb’s arms. “Caleb, you will not believe—one of the members of that group had a facet of dunamancy within their skull. It was truly unlike anything I’d ever seen before. Wait, let me collect the notes from my lab. It has much more detail that I do not want to leave—”

His partner begins to walk past him, excitedly chattering about this new discovery, and Caleb is frustrated.

He grabs one of Essek’s outstretched arms and pulls him into his body, Caleb’s other arm circling his waist as he draws his partner into a kiss.

It is longing and it is passion and it is desperation. It is a kiss of lovers parted for far too long.

 Caleb releases Essek’s hand only to sink his fingers into his partner’s silvery waves, the hand around his waist pulling him closer into the Zemnian’s warmth.

It lasts for only a moment, but seems to end far too soon as Caleb pulls back. Not far. Noses still touching, but far enough for him to whisper.

“I will gladly hear every detail of what your brilliant mind has uncovered of this band of adventurers, Herr Thelyss.” Caleb brushes his lips over Essek’s temple before continuing, “However, it has been a long week, month, year, and I would like nothing more than to lock my devastatingly handsome boyfriend and myself in our bedroom for a number of hours. If that is amenable to you.”

Here, Caleb draws back to get a full view of his partner’s face. Watches as the tips of his ears darken, lilac eyes glaze over, and lips part. All good signs, but still he waits for verbal consent.

Caleb kisses the corner of Essek’s mouth, mildly smirking at his partner’s state.

“Essek,” he prompts, stroking his thumb over the other’s cheek.

The haze from those gorgeous lilac eyes clears and Essek breathes just one word, one syllable that has Caleb sweeping him into his arms and teleporting to their bedroom: “Yes.”

[critter-genfic-events]

Funny Gen Recs

This week, we have fourteen funny fics for folks! Pranks, fake marriages, and lots of unlikely pairings under the cut - and as always, don't forget to kudos or comment if you like them!

Working Late by percahlia (585,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Cassandra de Rolo & Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III

A sibling moment after an explosion in Percy's workshop.

Reccer says: Percy does his best 'cat who didn't quite make the jump but totally meant to do that' impression

What Goes Up by krakens (2311,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Grog Strongjaw & Pike Trickfoot

Pike suggests playing a prank on Vax. Grog suggests putting a cow in his room.

Reccer says: It's a silly little slice of life that reminds me of all of the silly little moments that happened amidst all of the drama of Campaign 1.

GOBSMACKED (Five Times Nott Gave the Shovel Talk) by Mikkeneko (4381,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Nott & Caleb Widogast

She had to be on the lookout for heart-thieves who would toy with her boy's affections and then break his heart and make him cry afterwards. Caleb wouldn't be looking out for himself because he was so very smart about so many things and so very dumb about feelings.

Reccer says: Amazing, pitch-perfect early Nott voice. I could imagine Sam doing this bit.

Wizard Immortality Clause by jakia (808,Teen) Warnings: Pairings: Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss

Caleb decides he's going to live just as long as Essek will. The Raven Queen objects, and sends Vax down to try and handle it

Reccer says: Caleb and Vax's interactions are pure gold

Slip Knot by AgentMint (4287,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast

5 times Beau and Caleb pretended to be married and 1 time they absolutely didn’t (thank the gods)

Reccer says: Amazing sibling energy from the two of them

trust their steps to a dance that is lighter than air by grayintogreen (1085,General) Warnings: N/A Pairings: N/A

Ghostslayers have an ability called Aether Walk. Purple tieflings like to abuse it.

Reccer says: Short, cute, and exactly how each of the tieflings would abuse their power.

Dwendalian Book Club by SkipDelicious (1182,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

As is customary, Jester bequeaths the newest member of the Mighty Nein with her copy of Tusk Love

Reccer says: Amazing banter

the coyotes know her name by grayintogreen (2561,Teen) Warnings: N/A Pairings: N/A

Jester’s divine intervention attempt at the Vergessen Sanatorium works. Artagan comes up with something helpful.

Reccer says: A funny what-if that’s fun and in character.

ghost is a verb by mousecookie (3664,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Jourrael | The Inevitable End & The Crown Keepers, Jourrael | The Inevitable End & Opal (Critical Role)

In which the EXU crew are themselves, and Lolth's chosen assassin takes her first deeply reluctant steps towards becoming The Inevitable Friend

Reccer says: This is one of my comfort reads - one of my favorite things is the use of the pink font for Opal's messages

Rock and Roll Kitchen by Beauteousmajesty (892,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Milo is summoned from their work for a meal prepared by Ashton and Fresh Cut Grass. Regretfully, Milo is fairly certain that neither of them can cook. It's free food though, so they're willing to try.

Reccer says: It feels very much like friends who know each other very well teasing each other

Bite Me by daretodhampir (stardustedknuckles) (885,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Fearne Calloway & Ashton Greymoore

Early on, Fearne has a couple of questions on Ashton's physicality.

Reccer says: Fearne is wonderfully weird on this, in a way that's incredibly endearing

Old Friends and Familar Faces by Fishpaste (2374,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Percy De Rolo

It had just been supposed to be another boring meeting of making the incremental progress at putting Trent Ikithon away forever. However, there is something far too familiar about Lord Percival de Rolo and Beau is determined to figure it out.

Reccer says: It starts off somewhat serious, and then takes an amazing left turn when they recognize each other. Perfect

Polymorph for Fun and Profit by MasterQwertster (4548,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Short snippet stories of Bells Hells' (mis)adventures in using/abusing the Polymorph spell.

Reccer says: It's a very quick read since many of the chapters are super short and just a lot of silly shenanigans.

Nonagon Unbridled by fruitzbat (1230,General) Warnings: Spoilery re: the LitMoR series if you care about that! Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Lucien

Jester reads a fairy tale to Lucien, who has been confined by the Nein. Fanfic of a fanfic (Molly Lives AU: Life in the Margin of Redemption series by grayintogreen).

Reccer says: Funny side story that honestly doesn't require too much familiarity with LitMoR.

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week's theme is hurt/comfort! It should be a popular one!

Then, it'll be Yasha, clothing, and then time skips/future fics!

Any fics coming to mind?  Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[munsons-mutiny]

I’ve had this headcanon forever and it’s just never come up anywhere, so I figured it’s time to write about it.

Caleb’s spell that he makes for Veth, Widogast’s Transmorigification, has major implications for Exandria’s trans population! This could be the magical equivalent of top or bottom surgery only it’s down to a biological level! I’m sure they’ve had their own procedures, but a body that you can personally design does seem like an upgrade from whatever technology/magic they have available!

I like to believe that Caleb doesn’t think about the spell in that context at first, why would he? It was designed for someone with a different type of body dysphoria, and he doesn’t interact with too many trans people (at least that he knows, I have no clue if he knows about Yussa, and they haven’t seen Bryce in ages).

But once he starts teaching, and establishes himself as a safe space for queer kids (you can’t tell me the empire is super open minded, especially their most prestigious traditional institution) the application becomes obvious. The first time his favorite student, a small purple tiefling named Aza who reminds him so much of Molly it hurts, comes to him mid-breakdown because of how bad the dysphoria is the solution just immediately pops into his head. He could fix this for her, give her the body she should’ve been born in.

He comforts her the best he can and then calls a meeting of the lgbt club he has set up (it’s run under the radar to make it safe even for students who aren’t out to their peers yet). Where he gives a presentation on the spell, and it’s capabilities, even has Veth come in to show the results and have her talk about her experience and if there had been any side effects.

A couple students in the room cry at the possibility, some remain uninterested, but many are enraptured with the idea.

In what seems like the blink of an eye Caleb has suddenly become an underground queer hero, he starts performing the spell free of cost to anyone who wants it and is above the legal age (you just have to help dig up the clay if you can). Ends up having a whole medical procedure to the spell, where he takes them to the blooming grove (which I imagine has plenty of clays heheh) where it’s peaceful and they can talk everything over with caduceus before and after. Who can guide them through their feelings much better than Caleb though he always tries his best. He always offer the option to go back as well (though they have to wait a year, which is of course stated beforehand) if it isn’t the solution they were hoping for.

(Totally off track but I fully believe Caduceus ends up super involved in Caleb’s queer club, there’s so little aro ace rep and seeing someone whose so confident in it would be so helpful for them, and I think it would be so comforting for Caddy to see others like him and to know he’s not alone in that)

They keep the whole operation quiet, but it spreads silently throughout the queer community, Astrid even stepping in a time or two to keep it off the Assembly’s radar (She may be straight, but she’s poly with a bi partner, and I believe she’ll use her powers for causes she believes in for better or worse. Thankfully this is one of them).

There’s still discrimination against the queer community, but this quiet movement starts to spread to the point that almost every member of the nein is involved. Beau uses her connections at the Soul to get new documentation for people with proper names and pronouns. Yasha starts running Rexxentrum’s first self-sustainable lgbt safehouse for kids with nowhere to go (the garden is incredible). Jester and Fjord turn Fjord’s old orphanage into a second lgbt safehouse after he gets it shut down. Veth adds lgbt education to her camps curriculum, and is an advocate for same sex healthcare in the Nicodranas school system. She has a tunic that says proud mother of a bisexual wizard that she wears a little too often much to Caleb’s chagrin. Even Kingsley (illegal pirate king that he may be, my beloved) ends up becoming as involved as possible in Caleb’s group. Loves learning more about gender identity, and becomes the first Plank King to be openly gender fluid (probably who knows, I don’t know much about Darktows history but I def didn’t get super queer vibes). Makes sure Dark-Tow is accepting of all who turn to piracy, and imposes harsh laws against discrimination.

Essek looks on all of this with pride, so proud of Caleb and even the small role that he got to play in the spells creation. It’s the first time he gets to see something he helped with create good in the world. With Caleb’s permission he ends up sneaking back into the dynasty and leaving a copy of the finished spell on the Bright Queens desk, with a big created by Caleb Widogast across it (with whatever the wizard equivalent of copyright is). In a culture that centers around rebirth in different bodies, the idea that you could choose to have your original body back is a big deal. Dysphoria after consecuted individuals get their magic back is a huge problem within the dynasty, and it does Essek a lot of good to know that he’s done something actually helpful for his country.

Basically this got super long winded and out of hand, and I know Matt has largely cut homophobia, transphobia, and non-fantasy racism from Exandria but this idea would just not leave me alone!! And either way the spells implications for a gender affirming procedure are still super relevant.

[thecavernsabove]

okay now i just want to talk about my expectations versus why i have ended up liking certain characters because i am just so intrigued by everything these people and characters do. for bells hells, i went into it knowing i would love ashton because they are the reason I started watching, i didn't think i would really latch onto any other character, apart from maybe fearne because she's a satyr and i am particularly partial to satyrs, and imogen because i mean it's laura bailey!

but what actually happened, is that yes i did get super attached to ashton of course i did, but my top three quickly became ashton, orym and laudna (and as someone who started being able to watch live at the split you can imagine how devastated i was). and recently chetney is really creeping up there. i do love all the characters dearly though.

ashton just reminds me of myself so much, apart from the fact that they are much braver than i could ever be, and blunter too. i wish i could be them and also see all my faults in them. its a lot.

orym was my first introduction to liam o'brien and his devastating little guys (more on caleb later), and just his backstory and the way he deals with people intrigues me so much and i want to see him happy so bad.

laudna oh laudna. marisha ray you have ruined me. even going into this with my minimal knowledge of the briarwoods, her backstory reveal was so intense and it hurt. also, creepy unnerving girlies stick together! she's iconic.

chetney is so wild to me i love him so much. he is so intensely gender as well i love him so much. i love gruff and grumpy characters that are actually nice once you are more friendly with them.

imogen. i will say it took a little bit for her to grow on me but i do love her. i think the bassuras dusk stuff really helped me like her more. also her immense power and lightning scars are pretty cool if you ask me.

fearne. i love how sweet she is and the stuff like being bad at lying and also just stealing little things here and there was really fun. but what made me like her more was when she got more serious and i didn't expect that (foreshadowing for later!)

fcg. now, i still have, mixed? feelings for fcg. in a sense of i dont hate the character but i think the character arc is not something im too interested in, but i do still like them. the stuff with frida was very nice, and i do like the bits that they do - but i think there still feels like there is something missing for me somewhat.

now, with the mighty nein, i had an inkling on who i would like. i thought caleb certainly because we seem very similar, molly maybe because i liked ashton so hey i might like this taliesin character too! and that was it really. going into it though, because i had seen so much of jester (talking about her and cosplays mostly) i thought that she would be probably my least favourite because her personality didn't seem to really gel with what i usually like in characters. but here i am, on the other side with my favs being caleb, fjord, and jester! it was so much watching everything for the first time, even with knowing the big spoilers and then looking at more minor spoilers so i knew somewhat what would happen - but i do that with a lot of things, its different knowing what happens versus actually watching and experiencing what is happening.

caleb. caleb widogast is such an intense character and i loved every minute i spent with him. i spent so much time checking when i would finally see the nein sided tower of his and watching liam describe everything for an hour was so incredible i was in awe. i truely love that dirt wizard so much.

fjord was a truly unexpected character for me to fall for. the first time i realized that i was going to love him though was when they were in the one politicians house early in the campaign and he held his sword to caleb to make sure he wasn't fucking with them. then seeing his growth, the accent change, and just his whole deal i was enraptured. i do miss the southern eldritch blast though.

jester oh my goodness did she creep up on me. i think her initial cuteness that i had experienced throughout just existing on the internet put me off for some reason but i don't know why. however i did quickly fall in love with her, when she had one of her more sinister/serious moments early on. i don't remember what it was but i remember thinking oh. /oh./ okay. i love her. and then her relationship with her mama, and artie, gosh i just loved watching laura bailey do literally anything. the cupcake bit! also the sprinkle bit is quite funny. i also just love doing her voice when im talking to myself. she is also the reason that i take a decent amount of damage spells with my current cleric.

beau. i think i thought that i would have liked her more than i did (don't get me wrong i liked her a lot but she is not in my top three), but she is incredible. as a fellow monk pc i do love going the extra mile with those stunning strikes, and also seeing her relationship with yasha blossom was so lovely. and her bro relationships with fjord and caleb were also some of my favourites.

yasha. after starting with campaign three, it was really hard to not see ashley all the time and i remember having to look on the wiki while watching to check when she would come back every time she left. i think i really started to like her more after her she got taken, and went through that big arc, and we were around her more often. i loved watching her dreams. i loved watching her so much.

veth was so unexpected are you kidding me?? i will say i have yet to have a sam character be in my top three but god he knows how to throw an emotional punch and i love that kind of stuff. i love her relationship with caleb, the detective agency, the chaos crew. i love her arc of getting herself back, of seeing her family again. ough. im a big lover of families.

caduceus. goodness gracious me what a character. i just absolutely loved the aesthetic and caduceus's whole relationship to how he approaches death. he is also the reason i started playing a grave cleric in a newer campaign. but truly, has made me think differently about death - which was especially needed for me this year.

mollymauk. i knew he was dead. i knew he would die. but that didn't make me any less upset when it happened! i think about him often, what could have been. especially since i was so sure he took the wrong amount of damage in that fight and should not have quite have been knocked out at that time. but his whole maximallist aesthetic is something i very much enjoy, and i love the through line of his cards with jester.

wow okay this has gotten to be very long but i need to get my thoughts about everyone out somewhere!! if you've read this far im so sorry this is so much of my own ramblings.